Separation Anxiety in Babies: How to Manage and Continue Sleep Training in Singapore

It’s that time again — bedtime. You’ve spent the last 15 minutes singing your baby’s favourite lullaby, your hands gently patting their back, but suddenly, your little one bursts into tears as soon as you lay them down in their crib. 

Separation anxiety has hit — and it’s harder than you expected. You’ve been working so hard on sleep training a baby, and now this new challenge has emerged. 

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. As a Certified Sleep Sense Consultant in Singapore, I’ve worked with many parents navigating the emotional ups and downs of separation anxiety. It’s a normal part of your baby’s development, but it doesn’t make it any easier. 

Let’s dive into why separation anxiety occurs and how you can continue with sleep training, even when those little arms reach out for you. 

What is Separation Anxiety in Babies? 

Separation anxiety in babies is the fear or distress that babies experience when they are separated from their caregivers, usually between 6 to 12 months of age. It’s a sign that your baby is developing attachment and recognizing that you, their caregiver, are the one person they can rely on. 

But when this anxiety kicks in, it can lead to tears, tantrums, and sleepless nights — all things that can derail the progress you’ve made with sleep training a baby. In fact, this phase can be a bit of a rollercoaster for both you and your baby. 

When Does Separation Anxiety Typically Begin? 

For many babies in Singapore, separation anxiety starts at around 6 months, but it peaks around 9 to 10 months and can last until your baby turns 18 months or even longer. During this time, babies are learning object permanence — the understanding that when you leave the room, you’ll eventually return — but they don’t yet have the comfort of knowing that when you step away, you’ll come back. 

Signs of Separation Anxiety in Babies 

It can be heartbreaking when your baby cries for you, but understanding the signs can help you manage the situation better. Look for these signs: 

• Crying when you leave the room or the crib 

• Clinginess and wanting to be held constantly 

• Waking up more frequently at night or early mornings 

• Refusing to be comforted by anyone else 

• Increased anxiety in unfamiliar settings (e.g., new people, new environments) 

These are all normal responses during this phase, and with patience, you can continue with your sleep training journey. 

How Separation Anxiety Affects Sleep Training 

You might be wondering, Can I continue sleep training a baby if separation anxiety is causing frequent night wakings or cries? 

The good news is, yes, you can. But you’ll need to approach it with gentleness and flexibility. While separation anxiety can disrupt your baby’s sleep patterns, it doesn’t mean that all the sleep training work you’ve done needs to go out the window. Instead, it’s about finding balance and adapting your approach. 

Managing Separation Anxiety While Sleep Training a Baby 

Here’s where the expertise of a sleep sense consultant comes in. I recommend the following strategies to help ease separation anxiety while staying on track with your sleep training goals: 

1. Consistency is Key 

Stick to your sleep training routine as much as possible. If your baby is used to a bedtime routine that involves a bath, book, and lullaby, keep doing it. Consistency helps your baby feel more secure and reduces anxiety over time. 

2. Gradual Separation 

You can try a gradual approach to separation. Start by staying in the room for a little longer each night, gradually moving further away from the crib. This method gives your baby a chance to learn that you will always return. 

3. Comfort Without Reinforcing Sleep Associations 

When your baby cries, go to them, but avoid picking them up immediately. You can comfort them with your voice, a gentle pat, or a reassuring rub, but try to avoid picking them up or bringing them into your bed, as this can interfere with your sleep training process. 

4. Shorten the Goodnight Routine 

Sometimes, long and drawn-out goodnight routines can increase separation anxiety. Keep it short and sweet. A consistent “goodnight” signal like a special phrase or song can reassure your baby that bedtime is coming to an end. 

5. Offer Comfort Objects 

Soft toys or a comfort blanket can provide emotional support and help ease anxiety. If your baby is old enough (over 6 months), a comfort object can become a symbol of security. 

6. Patience, Patience, Patience 

This phase will pass. It’s normal to feel emotionally drained during this time, but try to remember that your baby’s anxiety is a healthy part of their development. Sleep training a baby during this phase may take a bit longer, but with consistency and patience, you’ll get through it. 

When to Seek Help for Separation Anxiety 

If your baby’s separation anxiety seems to be lasting too long or is significantly affecting their ability to sleep (or your ability to get rest), it may be helpful to consult with a professional sleep consultant like myself. I can provide tailored advice on navigating this developmental phase, offering support as you and your baby work through it. 

A Note from Debra, Certified Sleep Sense Consultant 

Hi, I’m Debra, and as a sleep consultant based in Singapore, I’ve worked with hundreds of families facing separation anxiety while sleep training a baby. I understand how challenging this phase can be, but rest assured that with the right tools and strategies, you and your baby can get through it. 

Explore My Services 

Are you struggling with separation anxiety or other sleep issues? Let’s work together to create a sleep plan that helps your baby feel secure, happy, and well-rested. 

Visit my Services Page to explore how I can support your family on the sleep training journey. 

FAQs 

At what age do babies get separation anxiety? 

Separation anxiety typically begins around 6 months of age, as babies develop a stronger attachment to their caregivers. 

How to fix separation anxiety in babies? 

At what age does separation anxiety typically peak in infants? 

Can you sleep train a baby with separation anxiety? 

Is it OK to let baby cry during separation anxiety? 

What is the best treatment for separation anxiety? 

When do babies begin to miss their parents?

Why does my 6-month-old cry when I put him down?